Road to Recovery
by BluezebraAFHS
Summary: Sequel to Highschool: Couldn't Come Up With A Better Name. After being held hostage, Allen is harmed in more ways than one.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay you guys, I am so, so sorry that I took so long to post this. I wanted to get this up a long time ago, but I was having severe writers block with this, so I took a break from it for a while, and I started working on it again, but I still had a bit of block. I finally finished it, but I'm not so sure how I like this chapter.**

**Anyone who might be reading this who hasn't first read Highschool: Couldn't Come Up With A Better Name, I recommend you read that first. You might not understand what's going on in this fic if you don't. **

**There is going to be a lot of angst in this story, but I will do the best I can to add some humorous parts. **

**Okay, now, onto another matter. In 'High school: Couldn't Come Up With A Better Name', I asked for things you guys wanted to see in the sequel, and a lot of you requested lemons. I'm sorry to disappoint anyone who wanted to see them, but I am not going to add them in for these three reasons:**

**1. I truly believe that it's not something Allen and Lenalee would do before they were married. Allen's too much of a gentleman, and I just don't think that's like Lenalee. Then there's also the fact that Komui would kill Allen if they did do that.**

**2. I just don't think it would fit into this story very well.**

**3. I'm a young writer, as in, not even in high school yet, and so that whole process kind of scares me. **

**I'm sorry again for anyone who wanted to see them, but it's just not something I like to write.**

**Okay, now finally done with the authors note, now onto the story! **

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The world outside looked exactly like he felt at the moment; dark and dreary, depressing. His silver eyes had dulled to a gray matching the sky, and he seemed to hold no emotion. But to the familiar eye, that was far from the truth. His tensed shoulders suggested he was stressed, anxious. The faint frown gave the impression he was frustrated. The way his body was hunched over, almost sagging, you could tell he was exhausted.

The sound of his hospital room door opening brought him out of his trance, and he turned around to meet purple eyes with his own. Unlike his, Lenalee's eyes held a wide range of emotions; grief, relief, love. Her black hair, which had been burned part of the way off, had grown to a short bob, and, wet from the rain, stuck to her face.

Not long ago, he had been held hostage by the gang NOAH. When the police had finally found him, he had been damaged. No one knew what had happened to him, and he refused to speak of his experience at their hands. Whatever had happened to him, it wasn't pretty.

After two months, most of his physical injuries had healed. But mentally, he was still a mess… and it showed. He still flinched when someone touched him, even Lenalee, who he no doubt trusted the most. Having admitted their feelings for each other, they were now officially dating. Still, it made her heart ache when he couldn't even touch her without flinching. Sure, after the first contact, he didn't, but it still hurt.

He had nightmares too. There hadn't been a single night of peace for him since he'd been in the hospital. He never talked about it though. He'd just shrug off his friends concern and change the subject.

Everyone from school had heard about what had happened to him, but only his friends knew the truth of his condition. The thought that he might never get better plagued their minds at night, making trying to sleep a wasted effort.

Lenalee walked over to his bed, and sat down on the chair beside it. "Hey Allen." She said, smiling at him.

He smiled back, but it was laced with sorrow. "Hey Lenalee…" he replied, looking away and breaking eye contact. That was another effect of this whole thing, he couldn't look someone in the eyes for more than a couple of minutes anymore.

Lenalee sighed. Every day after school, she came and visited him, and the same thing happened, over and over again. She would walk in, smile at him, and say hey. He would always smile back, and as time grew on, there was less grief in it, but it never disappeared. He'd reply, and look away from her, then she'd ask how he was, and it went from there. It was almost like a practiced routine.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, knowing the answer wouldn't satisfy her. He never talked about how he felt, he kept it all bottled up.

Allen shrugged. "Better, I guess."

She nodded, wishing he would say more, but knowing he wouldn't. The last time she'd pushed at him, he'd shut down. He had stopped responding to anything for almost a week until he'd snapped out of it. She thought he had finally given up, and that scared her. She didn't want that happen again, so she let him be.

Lenalee nodded, and they fell into a silence that was comfortable and awkward at the same time. She averted her gaze to the window, staring at the rain, wishing that for once Allen would just talk.

The silence was broken when the door slammed open and Lavi walked in. Allen winced at the noise, but the usagi didn't seem to notice.

Lavi walked to the bed, and faced Allen and Lenalee with his hands on his hips. "So… how are the two lovebirds today?" he teased

Lenalee blushed. "S-shut up." She said, looking at the wall.

Allen just went back to staring out the window, trying to hide the red that covered his face. Lavi snickered, and sat down beside Lenalee. "So, Allen, I heard the warden's letting you out of this place in a few days." He said

'Warden' was the nickname Lavi had given to the nurse that was always taking care of Allen. She was super strict, and scared the shit out of all of them. If she ever lost her job as a nurse, she could always go guard a prison.

Allen, who had finally managed to get his face back to a normal color, looked right above Lavi's shoulder. "Yeah." He answered softly. Another effect. He couldn't seem to raise his voice louder than just above a whisper. All confidence he had once had was gone, leaving a broken boy stranded in the wreckage.

Lavi sighed, and looked down. He visited as often as possible, but he never seemed to get anywhere with him. Same as Lenalee. It was almost as if all trust he'd had in them was lost. Of course, they knew that wasn't true, but sometimes that's just how it felt.

They sat in silence for a while, until Lavi couldn't take it. "Did you hear what one of the freshman at school did? He'd got mad, and flipped _Kanda's _tray of _soba _over. Let's just say… that kid probably had to go to the emergency room."

Lenalee laughed a bit, and Allen smiled. It was a little brighter than before. He always liked to hear about what happened at school.

Cross had gone missing sometime before the NOAH had kidnapped Allen, so now they had to figure out where Allen would go. Lenalee offered that he could stay at her house, but Komui had blatantly refused. Since Lavi had his own apartment, he told Allen he could stay there.

Lavi and Lenalee talked about the events of school for a while until Allen had dosed off. They stayed for a little while longer, before finally deciding to head home.

As she walked out, Lenalee smiled a bit. After Lavi had started talking, Allen had said a lot more than she'd heard from him since he'd been found. As the day had gone on, he'd actually chuckled a few times.

As she watched him, her heart felt a little lighter. Sure, it wasn't much of a difference, but it was still progress, and the most he'd made so far. It meant he was finally opening up around them. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

And for now, that was good enough for her.

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**Okay, again, I'm so sorry for the long wait. I'm going to do my best to do quick updates, and since it's summer now, I should be able to do that. **

**Please review, and any ideas you have are welcome. I'll try to fit them in this fic, and if I can't, I'm sorry. I'll probably try to make a one shot about whatever the idea is though. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm back guys! I wanted to get this chapter up earlier, but fanfiction wouldn't let me post anything. I finally got it working though, so yay!  
Anyways, thank you to those who reviewed, favorited, followed and even just read my story. I hope you like this chapter.**

* * *

Once Lenalee and Lavi had left, Allen allowed himself to relax. He knew they were his friends, knew he could trust them, but after his experience at the hands of the NOAH, he just couldn't find it in himself to.

He wanted to trust them, wanted to be able to allow himself to break down, and just _feel _in front of them, but he couldn't. After so long of the pain being worse if emotion was shown, he just couldn't allow himself to show anything in front of others. It was hard, and when he had first been taken to the hospital, he hadn't been able to do it very well. He was always afraid then, that someone would lash out at him, that someone would hurt him.

He was still afraid, and that fear made it impossible to do the only thing he wanted to do: cry.

It was the best way to allow grief and anger out, and he wanted to so bad, but he couldn't. If someone saw him… that would mean more pain. And there was always someone watching.

After so long of hiding everything, the pain, the sadness, he had finally gotten to a point where he could just turn his emotions off. He knew his friends suspected something was wrong. He knew that if he didn't start trusting them soon, they would begin to pry. And once they started that, he wouldn't be able to hide anything.

Feeling the tears that he had been holding in for months threaten to fall, he quickly turned off his emotions. A numbness came in and replaced the grief and pain he felt, and he drifted off to sleep with one thought in his mind.

_Could it be that… the reason for being able to shut my feelings down… is part of the experiments they did on me?_

_It was dark, so dark. He couldn't see a thing. There was nothing, nothing at all. _

_Nothing except the fear. The pure, blinding fear that haunted him night and day. _

_And then there was pain. It spread throughout him, his entire body writhing in agony. Why couldn't it leave him be? What had he done to deserve this? _

_All he wanted was one full day, twenty four hours, of peace. No pain, no fear, no sadness. He just wanted to get out of the dark._

_As if granting his wish, the shadows that filled his vision were shattered by a light. Slowly, as his eyes adjusted, he began to see._

_But what he was was not the vision he had wanted. He was back, back in the dim room he had spent over a half a year in. The room that only brought him misery and despair. _

_The only light came from a barred window, higher than he could ever reach. Dirt and dried blood was splattered across the floor and walls, and in the corner of the room, sat the bed on which he was perched. _

_Footsteps could be heard outside the room, growing louder with each passing second. A feeling of dread spread through him. They were coming, and they would bring pain and suffering with them. He wanted to cry, but that would only make it worse._

_The footsteps grew louder and louder, until they stopped, right outside his door. As the door opened, slow and menacing, a sense of terror washed through him. He couldn't move, just watch as a man with slicked back black hair entered the room, a maniacal grin spread across his face._

_In that moment, as the man walked toward him, knife in hand, he knew. He knew he would never escape. He was trapped forever, never to be able to leave. The terror left, leaving only a numbness where it should be._

_As the man walked forward and plunged the knife into his gut, laughter ringing through his ears, he found that he just didn't care anymore. _

_The boy in the corner, once terrified of being hurt, had given up hope of anyone saving him. Had given up on life._

_And that scared him more than anything._

Allen woke up with a gasp, a cold sweat covering his body. He could feel tears pushing to break through, but he forced them back. After this long of having nightmares like that, they shouldn't make him cry anymore.

Knowing Lenalee would visit soon, he sat back to wait. He knew it would be pointless to try and get more sleep. Not after a nightmare like that.

He sat there, watching the clock. These days, time seemed to move so slowly. He'd sit there waiting for what seemed like hours, then look at the time to see only minutes had passed by. It got old fast, but he couldn't do anything about it.

As he waited, a song he'd heard a long time ago came to mind, and he quietly began to sing.

"When the light fades, the moon makes, all the difference between, black and gray. As your faith dies, and your hope lies, where can you go? Death or Life?** (1)**"

When Lenalee came in later that day, she found Allen staring out the window again. This time it wasn't raining, but there was a storm brewing.

"Hey Allen." She said, walking over and taking his hand.

He looked up at her and smiled a bit. "Hey." He replied

"Are you feeling a little better?" Lenalee asked, looking at him hopefully, hoping he'd just _say _something for once.

He shrugged. "Same as yesterday." He said

As he looked at Lenalee, he noticed she looked tired. He frowned. "Lenalee, are you alright?" he asked, swallowing back the emotions that began to pop up.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired I guess. I haven't been able to get much sleep."

He nodded and sat back. He knew she was lying, she wasn't alright, but he didn't want to pry. He had a fairly good idea what was upsetting her anyways.

"H-hey Allen? Can I ask you something?" Lenalee said after a moment of silence

He shifted his gaze from the ceiling to her. "What is it?" he asked

She shifted a bit, obviously nervous. "Well… it's just that, you've gone through a lot you know? So… so how come you're like this? Aren't… aren't people who go through things like what you have normally really emotional and scared all the time? So… how come it's like you have no emotions at all? Do you not trust us?"

Hearing that, Allen froze. Did he trust them? Did he trust _her? _He wasn't so sure anymore. Could he even _trust _anymore? He felt tears well up in his eyes, and he tried desperately to hide them. He turned away from her, and tried to force them back, but a few escaped. Lenalee's expression softened, and she put a hand on his shoulder, using the other one to turn his head towards her. "Allen…" she whispered

"I-I'm sorry Lenalee. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just… just that…" he couldn't do it. He couldn't even think of what had happened to him without wanting to burst out crying, so how could he tell anyone? Maybe when he was out of the hospital, but not now. He turned away, and sniffed a bit. "Sorry, I just can't talk about it yet." He said, looking down.

She sighed. "It's okay Allen. Just know that… when you're ready to talk, I'll be here for you."

He nodded, and reached up to wipe away the few tears that managed to escape when the door opened. He froze midway, and stared at it terrified. Were they coming for him? Were they going to punish him for crying? For showing what he felt?

When the nurse walked in with his daily medicine, he relaxed. No one was coming to hurt him. He was safe. He stared at the cup of water and two pills, and decided to wait to take them until Lenalee left.

"Are you going to take them Allen?" she asked

He shook his head. "Not right now. I'll take them later."

She shrugged, and started talking to him about school. He listened intently and found himself laughing at Kanda and Lavi's antics. He missed hanging out with them, he really did. He just wanted things to go back to normal.

When Lenalee left, he sat back against his pillow and sighed. God he was tired.

Closing his eyes, he fell into a deep sleep, the two pills on the stand forgotten.

The next morning, when Allen woke up, it wasn't from a nightmare for once. He yawned and stretched, thinking about the dream he'd had.

_A gentle breeze wafted over him, bringing with it the scent of wildflowers and pine trees. He was in a giant field, from all directions as far as the eye could see, there was grass. It was so peaceful. _

_It wasn't quiet. No, in nature, there was no such thing as quiet. If you just listened, there was a whole lot to hear. A birds chirping, the rustling of the wind in the trees, an animal's call, a small stream. There was always something to hear._

_All of a sudden, a soft voice floated through the air. It was sweet, like sugar. Beautiful. _

_"Soshite, bouya wa nemuri ni tsuita. Iki zuku, hai no naka no honoo, hitotsu, futatsu to. Ukabu fukurami itoshi yokogao. Daichi ni, taruru ikusen no… yume… yume. Gin no hitomi no yuragu yoru ni, umare wo chita, kaga yaku omae. Iku oku no, toshitsuki ga. Ikutsu… inori wo… tsuchi e kaeshite mo… watashi wa inori, tsuzukeru. Douka, kono ko ni ai wo. Tsunaida te ni, kisu wo."_

_As the song continued, a feeling of calm came over him. For once, he could forget. He could forget about the pain and the suffering, about the anger. He could just be happy. _

_So he lay down in the grass, closed his eyes, and listened to the music. _

* * *

**(1) Just part of a song I wrote for this story. I'll be adding more of it into the story, so wait for that. And if you actually want to hear it, my friends are making me sing it and upload it onto youtube, so if you do want to hear it, tell me and I'll pm you when it's up. It may take a while though.**

**Of course, I had to add the fourteenth's song. What kind of -Man story would it be if i didn't? I love that song so much I have it memorized and I'm teaching myself how to play it on the piano. **

**Anyways, so how was it? Good, bad, great, horrible? I'd like to know. Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, sorry for the long wait... again. I've officially become a professional at procrastinating... sorry. I'm trying not to do it on this story but it's hard. Anyways, my writers block has finally eased up a bit on this story. I actually had a pretty easy time writing this chapter. **

**Thanks to all of those who reviewed, favorited, followed and even just continued to read this story. It means a lot to me to know that my writing actually entertains some people. XD.**

**Have I done a disclaimer for this story yet? I can't remember. I'll just do one big one now, even though I'm pretty sure I've already done one.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man or any of it's characters, it all belongs to it's rightful owner. This applies to this entire fic.**

**Was that professional enough? I don't care. It's hard to concentrate with my dad snoring so loud. I guess that's what I get for writing at three in the morning. I swear I'm turning into an insomniac... **

**Gosh... this authors note is just going all over the place isn't it?**

**Anyways, enough of my random ranting. Onto the chapter!**

* * *

The next morning, Allen woke up feeling well and truly rested for the first time since his captivity. He yawned and stretched, pleasantly surprised at the new feeling.

Looking around, he spotted the forgotten pills on the night stand. Knowing the nurse wouldn't be happy if she found out he hadn't taken them – and she was scary even when she was happy – he threw them in the garbage, making sure they couldn't me seen, and drank the glass of water. Hopefully, she wouldn't suspect anything, but there was still the chance that she had come in sometime during the night and saw them still sitting there.

He shuddered and decided to stop thinking about that. He looked at the clock, 8:32 am. Lenalee wouldn't be there for another two hours. He sighed, and slouched against his pillow, thoughts wandering to the dream he'd had last night… the song.

It was strange, but it seemed familiar somehow. Like he'd heard it somewhere before. Of course, he knew that couldn't be possible. Who would sing for him? Sure, Mana had a few times, but he knew for sure that he had never sung anything like that. Well, he thought he was sure, but for some reason there were large parts of his childhood with Mana that he couldn't seem to remember. It was strange, but he didn't feel like thinking about it.

The strangest thing about this all though was he wasn't afraid. Sure, it wouldn't last, but it was a nice break. Maybe… maybe he could finally talk a bit to Lenalee, finally tell her what's been going through his mind. 'Hmm… can I?' he asked himself. Maybe…

He grabbed a book and settled in to wait. As he read, he found himself humming the melody of the song. It really was a familiar tune…

Roughly two hours later, Lenalee walked into the room to see Allen asleep. She stopped by his bed and allowed a smile to cross her face. He rarely ever let anyone see him sleeping anymore. It was, after all, a person's most vulnerable state.

She sat down, and decided to wake him up. "Allen!" she said, shaking him lightly.

He sat up, and looked around disoriented. "Huh… whah?" He asked, shaking his head. "Lenalee?" he asked, when he finally managed to focus his eyes.

She giggled, and started running her fingers through his hair to try to calm the wildness of it. He blushed, and ducked his head down, embarrassed that she had seen him so weak. He smiled a bit after a second though, it was just Lenalee. She wouldn't care.

Allen looked up at her, meeting her eyes for a second, before looking down. A bit of the fear had returned by then, but it wasn't completely back yet. He knew he needed to speak now, or he wouldn't be able to for a long time. But… he just couldn't bring himself to. Looking at her face, eyes sparkling with happiness and a big grin on her face, he knew he couldn't depress her by talking about that experience.

So instead, he smiled, and started telling her about the dream.

Throughout the entire visit though, Lenalee knew it was a fake smile. She knew he was hiding his emotions away, she just didn't know why. Yesterday when he had cried, he had almost seemed… scared. Afraid that something was going to happen to him if he showed anything.

Just what had happened to him?

Later that night Lavi and Kanda came over to visit – well, more like Lavi came over and dragged Kanda with him by kidnapping his precious Mugen. Throughout the entire visit, Kanda kept grumbling to himself, rarely ever joining in on the conversation.

"So Allen? How have you and Lenalee been?" Lavi asked, winking and wiggling his eyebrows.

Allen blushed. "We've been great Lavi… as great as you can get in a situation like this at least."

Lavi sighed. He knew Allen would say something like that. Oh well, considering what he had been through, it was okay.

The nurse brought in the pill again, and seemed to have no clue whatsoever that Allen hadn't taken it the day before. He quickly swallowed the pill, and sat back again, listening to Lavi and Kanda bicker. "You know… you two bicker like an old married couple." Allen teased

Lavi blushed bright red and spluttered. "W-we do not!"

Allen giggled, but quickly quieted when he saw the look on Kanda's face.

And Lavi, being Lavi, gasped when he heard Allen giggle. "Allen! You laughed! It's a miracle!" he shouted, standing up and pounding at the air with his fist.

Allen rolled his eyes. "It's not that big of a deal Lavi."

"You know Allen, you seem really different today. You seem almost… happy." Lavi said, ignoring Kanda's mumbling.

Allen just shrugged. "I guess it's just one of those days where I actually feel okay." He said

Lenalee walked in a few minutes later, and Lavi jumped up and excitedly told her the story of Allen laughing. She smiled and walked over to Allen. "You really are in a good mood today. It's amazing!"

Allen pouted, and reached over for the remote on the night stand, turning on the TV. Scrolling through the channels, he finally settled on the news. He hadn't gone out much in the past six months, it was time he started focusing on the outside world again.

"… the wild fire has now spread over 15 acres. The fire department is doing everything they can to put it out…"

They sat there for a few minutes watching with bored expressions on their faces before the screen switched to one of those 'Breaking News' broadcasts.

"Breaking News. It seems that last night, the leader of the gang NOAH, known as The Millennium Earl, has escaped from prison and is on the prowl once again. It seems he still had accomplices outside of prison who had not been found yet, and managed to escape. It is believed that his next move will be to break out the other imprisoned members of the NOAH, and security on them has doubled in the last 24 hours…"

As the broadcast went on, the atmosphere in the room became more and more depressing. All of Allen's hopes of finally being free of this burden were crushed. The glass in his hand dropped to the floor, shattering just like he himself did.

He grabbed his head, violently shaking it over and over again. "No… this can't be happening. No. This has to be a dream… a nightmare. No…"

"Allen…" Lenalee said, walking over to him and embracing him. "It'll be fine… I promise. We won't let anything happen to you."

That did nothing to help though, it just made his ranting worse. "No, please no. GOD PLEASE NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK THERE!"

Feeling his resistance crumble, Allen did the one thing he had been the most afraid of doing ever since he'd first been kidnapped:

He cried.

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**Yeah, I know it's a bit shorter than the other two chapters, but it's still pretty long compared to my earlier chapters of High School: Couldn't Think of a Better Name. **

**So, through in a little bit of light hearted stuff, but then I, being who I am, had to ruin it. So, next chapter should be pretty dark. I'll do my best to throw in a few light parts here and there for the people who want that. **

**Review and tell me what you think. If you've got any ideas, feel free to tell me and I'll try to put them in. If I can't do that I can try to make a one shot for them. Just remember though - I won't write lemons. **


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